The Moral Of The Story Is
by Tiger and Cards
Summary: A collection of random stories Cards and Tiger have created about Newsies
1. Jack is Stupid

How Stupid Jack Is   
  
A beautiful day in the lodging house began. Dutchy fell out of bed, Blink debated not getting up at all and jack hid under the pillow. All was normal except, Kloppman was no where to be found. After not getting sufficiently yelled at, Jack peeked out from under his pillow, only to realize Kloppman was no where in site.  
After some of the boys decided this was a good thing and slept Jack decided to lead a search party to find the old man  
  
Unfortunately it was a very small search party because the boys wanted to sleep.  
  
In fact as Jack looked back it was only him, Mush, and Kid Blink. Because the two hadn't really heard his yelling correctly and thought they were going to a surprise party...  
  
They made a small stop at the girls LH to collect Tiger and Cards, who was visiting from Brooklyn. Nonetheless they were two of their favorite newsgirls.  
  
Cards was not at all happy about being woken. Neither was Tiger, since the two girls had both been out very late last night. But that's another story.  
  
Neither of the girls were that concerned about Klopmen. But they would feel differently if they did not have hangovers and a desperate need for coffee  
  
As a matter of fact, it seemed like Jack was the only one that was concerned about the old man.  
  
The rest were feeling mutiounus.   
  
"Jack do you have a fecking clue where de man is?" Cards asked   
  
Jack just mumbled a no and was met with a smooth slap by Tiger. "Maybe he jist went out for a vacation?" she suggested irritably.  
  
"Maybe he was taken hostage!" Jack said.   
  
"Who in there righ mind would take Klopmen prisoner?" Cards responded, quite annoyed.   
  
"Spot!" Jack breathed. Tiger smacked her forehead in exasperation.  
  
"Jack get dis thoough your stupid head, even Spot ain't dat dumb, righ Tigah?" Cards snapped. Mush nodded along  
  
"Righ," Tiger confirmed, "Besides, what would Spot want wit ole' Kloppy?"  
  
"Kloppy could actually be a millionaire." Blink muttered sarcastically.  
  
"EXACTLY!" Jack yelled  
Tiger and Cards both rolled their eyes in unison. "But he's not!"  
  
"Jack, did ya check if he was still sleep'n?" Mush asked  
  
Jack stopped in his tracks. "Uh... well... I... uh..." he stuttered.  
  
Blink cracked his knuckles as the rest followed suit.   
  
"I sugest ya do!" Cards hissed.  
  
Jack ran back to the Lodging House, only to realize that Kloppman really was still in bed. He wasn't feeling well that day. Needless to say, Jack got soaked pretty good that day.  
  
The moral of this story is:   
  
Before you gather a search party of Newsies make sure the person is actually missing.  
  
  
~ THE END ~ 


	2. Shit

It was a cool, clear night. Two friends were making there way out of the Lodging House and into the nearest bar. Technically neither of them should drink as one it wasn't lady like, and two they weren't responsible sober.

But the latter didn't matter, since they weren't particularly responsible when they were sober either.

Actually the former didn't matter either because they weren't lady like to begin with

Anyways, they were out for a night on the town without their boyfriends, Spot and Blink. They would be furious if they found out, but that was a risk that they were willing to take.

They kept looking for a bar that would let two un escorted girls in. They were finally able to work their charm, Tiger's a little more...erm.. revealing than some, and enter a dark pub. This pub was filled with questionable characters, gamblers, hookers, and musicians. Needless to say both felt extremely at ease in the place

Tiger draped herself over the nearest table, flirting with anything that came along. Cards made herself at home and challenged some men to a game of poker. All was going well until a man dressed in black approached them.

Aside from this horrible cliché the man was average height and immediately was roped in by Tiger's Flirting

Cards one yet another game of poker and Tiger ordered yet another drink. The strange man turned out to be quite normal and wrote for a newspaper. This shocked all involved who were expecting him to be a serial killer or such, he was interested in the two Newsgirls and how they dealt with working in a male controlled work force

Cards and Tiger were both very excited that someone was interested in the newsgirls and answered all of his questions. The man kept buying them drinks, and they kept drinking.

After a while the girls began to get sufficiently drunk and annoyed with all these questions. " 'ey mistah, why ya wanna know all dis stuff?" Tiger asked, her words slurring together.

"I told you I am interested in how you news girls fare in a male dominated profession"

"Bullshit." Cards muttered

Tiger nodded gravely, before tripping over her own two feet.

Cards watched Tiger fall to the ground before getting down from the bar stool to help her up. "Mistah, no one cares about us unless they want a good lay... well at least I think SPot's dat way."

"Blink's dat way too, but he's so good in bed.." Tiger said and giggled, "Not tah say dat Spot's not or anyting." The man sighed.

"Is Sex all you ladies think about?"

"Nah, or is it?" Cards asked laughing

"It is," Tiger confirmed and took a sip of her beer, "but dats rathah likely when yer around guys all de time."

"Do the boys ever how do I put this so it won't offend you, take advantage of you?" The man asked taking all this down very quickly.

Tiger looked at Cards and they both nodded. "Of course!"

"But hell I know I likes it!" Cards muttered "An' it ain't rape or nutten."

"Holy shit!" Tiger said, a little too loudly, "Its two 'a clock in da morning! We'se gotta get back to da Lodgin House!"

"Shit!" Cards muttered as they ran out. "Erm did we just Tell him every thing we do at da lodgen house?" Cards asked in shock as they were about to check in.

"Looks dat way," Tiger said, as she tripped again, "Do ya tink dats bad?"

"We just went out wid out our guys, told a fucken reporter our life stories, our names and our boys names, I think thats bad." Cards summed this all up by barfing in a neighbors plant.

Tiger just stared at her before she passed out on the stone steps of the Lodging House.

The moral of the story is: Don't let strange Newspaper men by you Drinks

THE END

Author (Cards) Notes: Hmm, These are done over IM so ya know!

Disclaimer: THIS STANDS FOR CHAPTER ONE AND ALL FOLLOWING CHAPTERS! We do not own Newsies, Blink's-Tiger owns Tiger, and Cards Owns Cards!

Shout Outs: (Italics are Cards Plain is Tiger)

To Morning Dew: 

shes insane for hugging jack.. ::shudders::

__

I fully agree, Jack is strange and Spot would never kidnap Klopmen, to impractical!

Falco-

good! Someone needed to give the boy a good smack_._

Yes he is Stupid isn't he?

Polecat- 

prefer feckin' but frickin's good too. Yeah, Blink and Mush can be a little, how shall I say this, spacey?

__

I agree full heartedly with Tiger on this one!

Derby-

Genius? WOW! Thanks a lot!

Yes we are Genius ain't we?


	3. Beg Plead and Offer Sex as An apology

The day after Jack's frantic search for Kloppman started off crisp and clear. Tiger and Cards were running down the streets to the Distribution Office, both extremely late because of last night's adventures (this time with their boyfriends). After figuring that the paper wouldn't print the story they were both fairly calm about the whole thing. (And couldn't remember half of it) They reached the gates and rushed in. Unfortunately, Tiger, being the klutz that she is, tripped over herself and landed in front of Blink, who looked rather angry. Cards saw Tiger fall and stopped to help her up, "What's got ya Blink?" She asked.

Blink said nothing and held up the newspaper. The headline boldy read , "The Secert Lives of Newsgirls."

Both girls grimaced. "Erm I can explain." Cards muttered praying to a god that she didn't believe in that Spot wouldn't find her for a while

"Uh... erm..." Tiger muttered and backed away from her boyfriend. " 'Blink's dat way too, but hes so good in bed. Not tah say dat Spot's not or anyting' " Blink read from the newspaper, "When did ya sleep wid Spot?!"

Cards giggled watching Tiger bluster

"Well... uh... member dat time dat we broke up? Uh... erm..." Tiger looked at Cards for help.

"She stormed in drunk off her ass and her and Spot went at it." Cards suppiled

"Cards!" Tiger yelled and smacked the back of her friend's head. 

"Well its better then saying something else." Cards muttered.

"Well, I don' tink dat right now is an appropriate tiome to disscuss my sex life," Tiger said angrily.

"I tink it is!" Blink yelled. "I mean ya told it to a complete strangah!"

"I was drunk," Tiger muttered. 

"CARDS!" Someone yelled. 

"Great, it's Spot," Tiger said.

Cards winced and rubbed the back of her neck. "Wha?" She asked expecting the Brooklyn leader to attempt to kill her.

"What is dis?" Spot screamed, and held up the newspaper. Tiger was very relieved that the attention had been taken off of her.

"I was drunk!" She yelled "Da guy kept on giving us drinks!"

Tiger nodded so much it looked like she was a bobble-head doll.

"Ya should be glad we wasn't raped or killed!" Cards said opening her eyes wids.

"Ya shouldn't a gone out wid out me!" Spot yelled getting right up into Card's face. 

"Ya! Tigah I tought ya were smarter den dat!" Blink yelled

Tiger made a squeaking sound and hid behind Cards, which was easy to do since Tiger was so short. "Whatta we do?" Tiger whispered to Cards.

"Beg plead, offer sex as an apology?" Cards whispered though it looked like more was needed in this case. "Get on our sorry knees and beg and plead."

"Good plan!" Tiger said and fell to her knees and front of Blink. "I'se so sowwy Blink, I'll make it up to ya..."

Swallowing her pride Cards did much the same thing, begging Spot to forgive her. "I'll compensate ya." She whispered.

Blink and Spot both sighed. "I still can't believe ya did dis! " Blink said, "It gives all a us a bad repyatation!"

Cards raised her eye brow. "I have one a dem already, If I remember it was one a da tings ya liked about me Spot."

Blink smacked his forehead because that was obviously not what he ment. "I'se gonna deal wid dis latah. I'se got papes tah sell," He said and stalked off towards his selling spot.

Spot glared at Cards debating whether to forgive her or not. "Cards, I gotta tink dis ovah." He left glaring at her, then he turned and tossed her a crumpled up paper. 

"Shit." Cards muttered

The moral of the story is Don't let your boyfriends find out that you let strange newspaper men buy you drinks.

Author's Notes: (Tiger) erm... we have absolutely no idea where we're going with this and its written over IM which is why it sounds so weird and Tiger is always really hyper and actually trips like that in real life and I'm rambling so I'll stop now...

Author's Notes (Cards): _ This isn't funny…Why isn't it funny?_

Shout Outs:

: Falco- 

::catches a waffle:: yum... thank you, we try ::bows::

__

RUN AWAY FALCO RUN!!

Polecat- 

That moral's important? really? Wow! Go us! heh heh

__

I came up with it! **Smirks**

Raeghann-

You fell out of your chair? Are you hurt? He wasnt amused? Thats too bad... my best guy friend fell asleep during the movie too...

__

My best friend (Guy) Is the one who loaned me Newsies…I fall out of my chair all the time! NIFTY!

Gyspy- 

If you think it was fun, imagine how fun it was for us to write!

__

They are fun aren't they?


End file.
